Life Goes On

I don't even know where to begin....

Well it has been well over a year since we consummated our marriage and conquered Vaginismus. It seems so long ago that I was so down and helpless and hopeless. I feared so many things. They are not fears that I want to relive and I am so grateful that with help I was able to work on them.

This leads me to my next point. I have had a lot of time to think in the past 8 months. I was thinking whether to keep my blog going or to just let it be. My conclusion is that I want to keep it going and start doing more regular posts because this is a blog about my life and LIFE GOES ON.

There is hardly a day that goes by that I don't think about how lucky and blessed I am. The reason I have been thinking about this blog so much recently is because earlier this year we found out that I am pregnant! 

I seriously had to test 4 times to really make sure! I first noticed some crazy things before I even missed my period. One day I came home from school and I just had to have an Otis Spunkmeyer Banana Nut Muffin. First of all...I have only had those muffins only a handful of times in my life...so to crave them was just a little out of the ordinary. The next day it was a lemon pound cake that you can buy from the store. Something was weird.

I think it was about 6 days before my period was to start, I had to take a test. The first test showed a very faint positive line. I thought it might be a mistake. So everyday I took another test and each time the positive line got darker and darker. And then I finally took the digital test to confirm. It said that I am for sure pregnant!

Those were some crazy times... I was student teaching during the first trimester and was deathly ill. My morning sickness was all day and everyday. I felt like I was going to die and I couldn't keep anything down. On top of that I was teaching in 3 foods classes where the smells and sights made it impossible to feel good! I had to put on my best face and just throw up in the back room when I could. I finally got a prescription for the vomiting because I almost went to the ER. It helped a ton but I still felt sick. Luckily, Alex and I both graduated and made it through!

Unfortunately the sickness has lasted throughout my entire pregnancy. It has gotten leaps and bounds better but I still feel nauseous from time to time.

I couldn't wait to find out the gender of the baby, so at 15 weeks we went to an ultrasound technician to find out the sex early. We all had inclinations that it was a girl because my mom was as sick as I was with all her girls. So it came as no surprise when the technician said that we were looking at our very own baby girl! We got some fun pictures and an awesome video that I just love to watch all the time! It's just amazing to see her move around and so small!

I am now almost 36 weeks pregnant. I feel very large. I don't sleep at night because my legs tend to go numb and/or get sore. Oh and the constant peeing. I have intense pelvic pain that feels so bad at times I can hardly walk. I have accumulated my rightful motherhood stretch marks. I cry at least a few times a week about anything. It could be the ending of Crocodile Dundee or just because. Yes...I did cry when they were in the subway tunnel and trying to yell to Mick that she loves him. Pregnancy is not glamorous. 

However, Alex and I could not be more excited, scared, and nervous for this new change in our lives. We are going to be a Mommy and a Daddy. We know its going to be difficult and yet so rewarding. I am so looking forward to seeing Alex become a Dad because I know he is just going to be the cutest thing. I could not have asked for a better husband who has been right by my side through it all. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I look forward to this new adventure and the rest of forever.