WE DID IT!!!

Sorry it has been awhile since I have posted. I kind of put things on the back burner and took a break. I still had PT appointments every other week and we just did some internal stretching. She said that it would take about 6-8 weeks for the tissue to stretch and lengthen to accommodate the larger dilator or Alex. So I religiously did stretching every other day. It was hard because I had to use my thumb to get a good stretch and finding a position to stretch for 15 minutes a day was difficult. And also my thumb would get tired haha.

Anyways...at my last appointment she said I was doing great! She did a stretch and asked how I felt. I felt really nothing, no pain or anything. And then she said that she was doing a really big stretch and there was no way I would have been able to do this when I first came to her. I thought, progress! Yay! And then she told me that we would be able to have sex before our one year anniversary on May 4th. It was her goal! And mine too.

Well it already happened! Last night I decided to try the large dilator again. Last time it was pressing so much on my urethra that the pain was unbearable. Since I have been so well on my stretching, it was able to go in. It felt tight and a little bit of pain from hitting my urethra, but wasn't bad at all. Then I thought, hey if I can do this, then Alex can definitely go in. Warning: It gets a little graphic here...

So first we tried MOT (man on top) and he went it with no pain. Then I felt comfortable that he could try moving in and out. It didn't hurt but just a little uncomfortable. The whole time I had to concentrate and consciously keep my muscles relaxed so I didn't spasm. Then we tried WOT because most vaginismus girls feel more comfortable with the control aspect and then they can stop if something hurts. You all know what happens next.... :)

Wow...I still can't believe it happened. All of today I have been texting and asking Alex if that really happened. He confirms it. He is a little mad that we have to keep practicing...JUST KIDDING. He can't be more excited! We have finally consummated our marriage! 

Taking a Break

After having so much success, the pain was just too much to bear. First I would practice with the second to last dilator and do a session of stretching. After I feel all nice and loose and my muscles are relaxed I proceed with the largest dilator. Initially I was having some pain from it hitting my urethra and thought it would go away after a few sessions….

Nope.

A few days past and the pain was not going away. I e-mailed my PT and asked her what to do and she said take a break. And so I am. She doesn’t want me to go back into the pain cycle and she is confident that will more stretching and relaxing that when I put the largest dilator in or Alex it won’t hit my urethra.

It is just so frustrating getting SOOO close and then having to go backwards…